#delete

it was physically hard to delete that app. logging on after every meal, snack, cup of coffee to track calories for the past years is part of my routine. but I did it. it wiggled when I held down the little blue icon on my iphone as if to say “noooo don’t delete me” but I did. its been one day, and I am consciously trying to eat better foods, rather than play the number game of “what can I get away with”

the donuts brought to the office yesterday are still here, I still haven’t reached for them. deleting the app has not deleted my willpower…woo hooo

in a society that constantly looks at women’s size, hair, color, makeup, skin, and sense of style, its a little exhausting trying to live up to everyone’s expectations. its even scarier when those outside voices become internalized and you constantly nitpick yourself. this morning it was nice not getting dressed in front of the mirror. I put on clothes that were comfortabl, made sure my hair was okay, and off I went. and it was fine. no one said anything, still got compliments. the world didn’t end.

April- Let’s Start Spring Cleaning!

Today marks my first day of my own personal “clean eating challenge” for the month of April.

I enjoy food. I love that it brings people together, I love that it communicates culture, love, flavor, relationship, and emotion. But sometimes, I love food so much that I over indulge- which I have been doing truthfully since February. When I went to India, I did not hold back, I enjoyed full Indian breakfasts of idili, appam, chicken curry, mid-morning snacks of chai and fried plantain, gargantuan lunches of roasted fish curry served with fried yucca, steamed vegetables, more chai, and a banana to end, followed by ANOTHER snack between lunch and dinner, fresh coconut water, chocolate snacks, tea biscuits…. then of course, another full course meal to end the day. Needless to say, every and any craving I had prior to going to India was filled, refilled, and overdone!00c09179a235205330ce29b9bb599a80

Coming back to the States was an adjustment…I had to cook…but I found myself eating out more, eating much more dessert, setting goals, and then “sneaking” in loads of extra ice cream, donuts, cannoli’s and anything else with a hint of sugar. I am pretty good at calorie counting, mostly because I have to In order to make sure I don’t overdose on sugar, but instead of my calorie count app showing any discipline, it was more of a marker of how “high” I could go on the junk food scale!

So April marks the start of a new season, the start of wedding, baby shower, party, and get together season, and of course the shedding of winter coats and sweaters. To get ready for the season, and I hope in general a new fit lifestyle with some discipline, I am attempting to “clean” eat. Since I have been eating so terribly, I kind of have to go “cold” turkey- no desserts ( fruits will replace that), mostly vegetables, high protein with chicken, fish, and turkey, and lots of water!

First challenge—-how to limit coffee!